“Brush Up Your Shakespeare”

From Kiss Me Kate (1948)
Music and Lyrics by Cole Porter

The girls today in society go for classical poetry.
So, to win their hearts one must quote with ease Aeschylus and Euripides.
One must know Homer, and b'lieve me, beau, Sophocles, also Sappho-ho.
Unless you know Shelley and Keats and Pope, dainty debbies will call you a dope.
But the poet of them all who will start 'em simply ravin' is the poet people call "The bard of Stratford on Avon."

Brush up your Shakespeare, start quoting him now.
Brush up your Shakespeare and the women you will wow.
Just declaim a few lines from Othella, and they'll think you're a helluva fella.
If your blonde won't respond when you flatter 'er, tell her what Tony told Cleopat-er-er.
If she fights when her clothes you are mussing, what are clothes? Much Ado About "Nussing."
Brush up your Shakespeare and they'll all kowtow.

Brush up your Shakespeare, start quoting him now.
Brush up your Shakespeare and the women you will wow.
With the wife of the British Embessida, try a crack out of Troilus and Cressida.
If she says she won't buy it or tike it, make her tike it, what's more -
As You Like It!
If she says your behavior is heinous, kick her right in the Coriolanus.
Brush up your Shakespeare
And they'll all kowtow.

Brush up your Shakespeare, start quoting him now.
Brush up your Shakespeare and the women you will wow.
If you can't be a ham and do Hamlet, they will not give a damn or a damnlet.
Just recite an occasional sonnet, and your lap'll have "Honey" upon it.
When your baby is pleading for pleasure, let her sample your Measure for Measure.
Brush up your Shakespeare
And they'll all kowtow.
Brush up your Shakespeare, start quoting him now.
Brush up your Shakespeare and the women you will wow.
Better mention the Merchant of Venice when her sweet pound o' flesh you would menace.
If her virtue, at first she defends, well…
Just remind her that All's Well that Ends Well!
And if still she won't give her bonus, you know what Venus got from Adonis!
Brush up your Shakespeare and they'll all kowtow. (Thinkst thou?)
And they'll all kowtow! (Odds bodkins!)
They'll all kowtow.

Brush up your Shakespeare, start quoting him now.
Brush up your Shakespeare and the women you will wow. If your goil is a Washington Heights dream, treat the kid to
A Midsummer's Night's Dream.
If she then wants an all-by-her-self night, let her rest ev'ry 'leventh or Twelfth Night.
If because of your heat she gets huffy, simply play on and "Lay on, Macduffy!"
Brush up your Shakespeare and they'll all kowtow! (We trow.)
And they'll all kowtow. (We vow.)
And they'll all kowtow!